Being somebody who likes to be independent is not easy, certainly not easy. Your life is a constant battle between letting yourself fall and holding yourself up strong. There are phases when you feel low, you need somebody to hold your hand and make you believe that everything will be alright but then, during those phases, your pride also pokes its nose in and makes you realize that YOU’RE A STRONG INDEPENDENT PERSON AND YOU DON’T NEED ANYBODY ELSE FOR SUPPORT. Sounds quite a lot right? After all, taking support for once isn’t anything wrong; it will obviously not make you dependent, but in reality, that’s how it feels.
Envisioning the interior of such a person will be overly in contrast with the exterior. The exterior will reflect confidence, their speech will be molded with motivation and their smile will never show any hint of anxiousness but when you dip inside, you will see their fear and their loneliness, fear of being dependent on somebody either emotionally or physically and loneliness because they just cannot give themselves to anybody, It’s either them or nobody for them. Their pride is in being self-sufficient.
The do-it-yourself attitude that they carry makes it perhaps difficult for them to ask for help or for any solutions. It acts like a barrier in their overall growth and development as a person. They cannot fully enjoy the pleasures that the social world delivers as they are way too occupied in trying to fulfill everything themselves. Possibly, this might be the reason why you will rarely see such people sharing their problems or talking their heart out in relation to their feelings and emotions. They fear doing so and it makes them somehow socially handicapped not as a gauche though. We can call them introverts who socialize as extroverts.
They have their counter-factual thinking mostly triggered; they keep questioning themselves that What if? I let myself go and nobody is there to handle and hence, they suffer from trust issues as well, major trust issues in fact. They fail to realize that it’s better to have a life full of ‘Oh wells’ rather than ‘what ifs’.
During those low phases of life, they tend to try and ignore those feelings and focus all of their attention to their goals, the goals that they want to achieve independently. They try to seek motivation from trivial actions of others and eventually they cope up. Though somewhere deep within they feel emptiness, where they crave social relations and understandings. They envy people who can easily open up and are dependent on others at least emotionally.
Never the less, they are a bunch of strong people who strive hard to achieve their maximum potentials and if life works up in their favor, they too certainly find someone to rely upon on. 🙂